Been struggling with feeling a little dry spiritually. You know the kind of days where God is there, but feels to very far away. Kind of like being in a desert and really wanting a drink of water; or low in a valley with no sun shining. So I pray and read and seek His face, knowing He has no desire to hide from me.
So I thought I would blog my thoughts instead of hiding and pretending everything is sunshine and flowers.
This morning in my study of the Word I found myself in Matthew 8. The first four verses where the leper is cleansed hit me. He had no doubt of Christ's power, "Lord, if You are willing, You can make me clean." He knew Jesus could do it if He chose to, and Jesus did choose to heal him. But it is interesting that the man then choose to disobey Jesus, "See that you tell no one." In Mark we are told more of the story and how he spread the news, and because of this Jesus's ministry was hindered-He had to move out of the city to the desert regions.
I also find myself NOT doubting the Lord, knowing He is there, knowing He loves me. But am struggling with the everyday. So when I lost it today teaching my son, I knew I was in disobedience; when I am selfish with my time, I know I am in disobedience; when I am bitter over unkindnesses against me or my family, I know I am in disobedience. So I sit feeling the failure hit like a ton of bricks. The old self wanting to resurface and say, 'you are not good enough.'
So as I write these words and seek His face and seek my delight in Him, what is He saying to my heart today? 'Remember Donna, that I am your all, that it is by My righteousness that you are made whole. It is not your works or your failures that make or break our relationship, it is My love, grace and mercy that never fails!!'
Isn't He so very good to us. No matter how many times I find myself back in this place, He is there to remind me of His unfailing love for this imperfect child of His.
Thank you Lord!
"Lord, You will establish peace for us, for You have also done all our works in us." Isaiah 26:12
Philippians 4:4-9
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. and the peace of God which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.
Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. and the peace of God which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.
Monday, April 6, 2009
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1 comment:
Oh my ... I've been sitting in that same place a lot recently.
Just this week I was at the Christian bookstore buying a birthday present when this book practically jumped off the shelf at me.
"I'm Not Good Enough ... and other lies women tell themselves." by Sharon Jaynes
I'll let you know how it is.
mama of 13 :)
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