My beautiful daughter with the fake kitty. Isn't she cute?
So how does a sweet face like this hide so much fear and pain?
On Sunday she was mopping the kitchen floor with the swifter. She decided to run while she was doing it and the inevitable happened that happens when you run on wet floors! Her feet went up and she landed flat on her tail bone! All I saw from my vantage point was feet in the air, I heard no crying. David called her over to him, there were huge crocodile tears, but no sound! He comforted her and she went back to finish the floor with no sound.
Interesting?!?
Monday morning we decided to bike to VBS. She said nothing about still hurting and got on her bike. She was having trouble getting on and off, I wrote it off as she was wearing a skort and it made maneuvering difficult. About half way there we got off to walk up the big hill and she was limping. So I ask is anything wrong? No she says. We keep walking with the limp getting more pronounced. I ask again, Hannah you are walking funny, are you sure you are OK. She says she is tired. So I know I am slow, but it then dawns on me about the fall!! So I ask Hannah does your butt hurt? The silent tears well up in her eyes and she says "yes"!
We finally got to the bottom of the funny walk, but we are in no way near the 'bottom' of the issue!
We discusses that it is OK to tell mom what hurts and what you need--again! That I will do anything that I can to make it better. No real response.
So we tried humor. Hannah, it is OK to say "My butt hurts!" I get a smile with that and hope we have reached an understanding.
Fast forward to this morning. My first question for her after she gets up.
"How is your butt?"
"OK."
"It doesn't hurt?"
"No."
So I have her sit so I can take a picture of her with her new fake kitty and she very carefully lowers herself to the ground and tenderly sits on her backside!
So I ask you, do you think it is OK? Have we gotten to the 'bottom' of the issue?
I am sure we are dealing with needs not being met in her first years. Not that her birth mother did not want to meet the needs, but most likely, she was unable to meet her needs. So we read and research ways to meet Hannah in her pain and fear and help her work through it. But mostly we lay our precious daughter before the Lord, the Great Physician and ask Him to heal her broken heart and to open her heart to His love that she may walk fully in His grace.
Psalm 103:3-5
Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases; Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies; Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle's.