Our Adoption Blessing!!

Due to the abundance of news regarding the mother who sent her son back to Russia, the Joint Council on International Children's Services has asked adoptive parents to blog about their successful adoptions to combat the negative press.


So here is our story:


I have always wanted to adopt, actually as long as I can remember it was something I knew I wanted to do. But then came our early marriage due to our unplanned pregnancy and three beautiful children in 7 years. Adoption was not even talked about.


But about 3 years later in 1995 we started talking about wanting to add to our family, but we had done permanent things to prevent that biologically by this time. So this is when we first looked into adoption, actually took classes towards that end.


But something always prevented us from moving forward. I believe God knew our children were not ready for us yet (not even born)! In 2000 David had a reversal, but we knew that the chances of it being successful were slim, due to previous complications. So we started really praying that if God had more children planned for our future that He would make the way clear!!


Interestingly about the time we started praying this, our handsome son was conceived on a different continent!! We continued to pray and investigate adoption, then throw in a couple of moves!


In February of 2005 David just said lets do it!


So we called up the agency we had been looking at who at the time was one of the only agencies doing adoptions in Africa. They had a class starting that week!!!


We attended all our classes and had all our dossier done by May 1, 2005, including our homestudy!!!


We received our referral of Charles and Charlesetta Q. on May 15th. And accepted them the next day with only three sentences of information and NO pictures!!!


Due to the unrest with the first presidential elections in Liberia after 13 years of civil war, we were not allowed to travel when the kids were ready. So we chose to have them escorted to get them home the soonest, especially since our little Hannah was so ill.

We met Caleb and Hannah at the airport on November 19, 2005. The were very tired and hungry. We had a horrible time understanding one another, even though we both were supposed to be speaking the same language! Hannah rejected me on the spot! Caleb had the biggest eyes, think he was crazy scared and excited at the same time.

To be honest some of the bonding issues took me by surprise and some did not. I expected some rejection towards me, as it was women that kept moving them around. I did not expect the rejection towards Drew!! I think it was hard on me too, to see him so rejected. After about a year home I realized I was struggling attaching to one. Through some reading and advice from friends, I put a renewed effort into fully, moment by moment, loving on him. It was a day by day effort to praise and gently correct for the 1000th time. This really moved us to a new relationship.

We have learned:

That it takes a long time to unteach training (or lack thereof) that was learned first.

That children who have been traumatized need consistent loving reminders not to run into 'fight, flight, or freeze' mode.

That malnutrition can have lasting effects on a developing brain.

That needing to protect yourself and your family at a young age, makes it hard to let yourself not be in control of all situations.

That loving a 'child from the hard place' takes lots of time, effort, discipline and patience.

That love is a choice!!

But most of all we have learned---

That taking the risk and loving a child that is not 'flesh of your flesh' is an amazing gift!!!

A chance to experience first hand the miracle of love born of a complete choice!!

A chance to more fully understand how the loving God of the universe can choose to adopt and love me!!!

A chance to learn about who you are deep inside, and watch the Potter's hands mold out the rough spots!

A chance to make a difference for a lifetime!

A chance watch a child blossom with the watering of love and compassion.

A chance to step out on to the water and watch God's love allow you to walk upon it!!

Is adoption all a bed of roses?

No way!

But adoption can change a life for a lifetime.

Not only that of your child, but yours as well!

So step out of the boat and be ready for the adventure of a lifetime!